Who likes praise? Of course you do. Don't you feel good when people say nice things about you? Doesn't it feel good when someone compliments you? Why did you start praying as a child? Wasn't it partially because of how your parents said "Good job!" or "Lovely girl/boy!"? Comeoooon, I know you.
Unfortunately, our religion is very much opposed to doing things for show. Basically, we get rewarded by the one we do things for. Do stuff for God, God rewards you. Do stuff for show, and your audience will reward you. You know, because they CAN do that in the afterlife right? What? They can't? That sucks..... So what do you do? How can you tell when you're doing stuff for God and when you're doing stuff for show? It's not always black and white, at least not to me.
For instance, in our masjid, the donation box is a CLEAR (God knows why) acrylic box right in the entranceway to the prayer hall. So I'm waiting behind the guy in front of me and he drops in a $20. Immediately "Oh no. Do I drop in my twoonie? That'll make me look cheap! Maybe I should drop in the $20, but then I'll look like a big spender, lots of people here can't afford to drop a $20..."
Same with prayers: "Alright, should I pray now? Or later? I COULD maybe pray at home...if I pray here people will see me. They might say good things about me and maybe it'll reach one of the lovely ladies who are here (what? I wanna get married someday...;P). Should I do the sunnah prayer? If I don't, people will think I'm a bad muslim...or a lazy one.."
So what to do? Well, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, a quote from Theodore Roosevelt comes to mind:
"In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
So, in terms of charity:
The right thing to do is to give to charity FOR GOD. You get your reward, needy people get aid. Everything is good.
The wrong thing to do is to give to charity to show off. This is the next best thing because, although you get nothing in the afterlife, you may still get the reputation you sought (it's better than nothing, right?) and hopefully there's still time for you to get your priorities in order, AND at least needy people get aid. At the very least, someone will benefit from your arrogance.
The worst thing to do is nothing because that doesn't benefit anyone. Neither yourself or anyone else.
As for prayer:
The right thing to do is to pray because THE ALL POWERFUL LORD RESPONSIBLE FOR DETERMINING YOUR ETERNAL HAPPINESS OR MISERY said so and it makes Him happy.
The next best thing to do is to pray to show off. While this doesn't benefit anyone else, you STILL have to pray because God told you to, you MAY get the reputation you sought, which may lead to good things and opportunities for redemption, also, seeing you pray may encourage others to do the same.
Unfortunately, YOU are still in trouble:
Narrated Abu Said: I heard the Prophet saying, "Allah will bring forth the severest Hour, and then all the Believers, men and women, will prostrate themselves before Him, but there will remain those who used to prostrate in the world for showing off and for gaining good reputation. Such people will try to prostrate (on the Day of Judgment) but their back swill be as stiff as if it is one bone (a single vertebra)." (Bukhari, Book #60, Hadith #441)
But here's something to hold on to:
"The angels will take them out by recognizing them from the traces of prostrations, for Allah has forbidden the (Hell) fire to eat away those traces. So they will come out of the fire, it will eat away from the whole of the human body except the marks of the prostrations. At that time they will come out of the fire as mere skeletons. The Water of Life will be poured on them and as a result they will grow like the seeds growing on the bank of flowing water." (Bukhari, Book 12, Hadith 770)
And the worst thing to do is nothing because you've totally ignored God's command, benefitted no one, and in a way, encouraged others not to pray, by not setting some kind of example.
Next, a little trick I use. When I hear the devil pointing at me and claiming I'm showing off, I look at the action. If I would do the action, whether everyone was watching or not, then I'm not doing it to show off. Like prayer; while I have some difficulty doing the sunnahs, the fard prayers are no problem because no matter who's watching, I'm GOING to do them. You DON'T MESS AROUND WITH THE FARD PRAYERS. Bad things will happen. :( As for the charity, I still try to give as discretely as possible, but I just remind myself I'd do it anyway, AND as I'm putting it in the box I, in my mind or by muttering, dedicated it to God. I like to make it sound like a transaction too; "Dear God, I'm giving this $XX bill for you in exchange for a good wife/help with academia/waterfront property in heaven/forgiveness....". That makes it easier because it reminds me why I'm donating.
And these can apply to anything, from baking cupcakes, to lending notes! Good luck out there! Oh, and maybe I'm totally wrong. Maybe doing things to show off IS worse than doing nothing, and I only hope that God forgives me for leading you all astray if that is the case.
Allah (SWT) knows best.
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