Why Doesn't Istikhara Always Seem to Work?

disclaimer: These are my own thoughts on the nature of istikhara, I'm not a scholar. 

Istikhara is an acknowledgement that we as humans have limited knowledge and ability and don't know what's best for us and a request for Allah (SWT) to guide us.  

Here is the istikhara dua (from Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 21, Number 263):

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end (death), for here (in this world) and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings (baraka') in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end (death), for here (in this world) and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain (destine) that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

Now let's break it down:

"O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power."

This is an admission of weakness. That we are not capable and we need God to help us. 

You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen.

This is another admission of weakness: that we do not have perfect knowledge of all things, even our own situations. It is also a praise, stating that we know Allah (SWT) knows everything, seen and unseen. This includes past, present, and future, all possible outcomes of any situation, everyone's actions everywhere and how they have or can interact. It's a MIND BOGGLING amount of information that we could never comprehend. We CANNOT and DO NOT know everything Allah (SWT) knows. Remember this. 

Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith...

"Better for my religion and faith" encompasses outcomes including but not limited to:
- increasing you in faith 

- helping you practice your faith

- not going against your faith

- not decreasing you in faith

- avoiding things that may decrease your faith

[better]...for my life and end (death)...

encompasses outcomes including but not limited to:

- making your life (and death) easier 

- making your life (and death) better

- avoiding things that may make either worse

[better]...for here (in this world) and the hereafter...

encompasses outcomes including but not limited to:

- making your quality of life better

- making your quality of life less worse

- making your afterlife better

- making your afterlife less worse (hey, take what you can get!)

- avoiding things that may decrease quality of life or afterlife

...then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings (baraka') in it, for me.

The end of the first request: asking for the action/outcome, asking that achieving the outcome or performing the action is easy, and that the action/outcome has blessings in it (that good things will come from it). 

O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end (death), for here (in this world) and the hereafter... 

Now the converse of the request, encompassing outcomes that include:

- harming you, your health, your faith, and all the things connected to those

- worsening your quality of life, your afterlife, your life, your death and all things connected to those

...then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain (destine) that for me and then make me satisfied with it.

The end of the converse of the request: asking for the action/outcome to appear undesirable, or be made unattainable, and to instead be turned toward something better and to be made pleased with it. 

After making the dua, it is recommended that you obtain as much knowledge on your decision as possible, in line with the "Trust in Allah, but tether your camel" way of thinking, then do what you wholeheartedly believe is the right choice. 

But...what if you do all this, and it turns out your decision was a bad one? You take the job, buy the car, go back to college, or whatever, and everything is awful? 

For instance: 

-The job is awful, you're miserable every day, it wasn't what you expected at all.

-The car ends up costing you hundreds of dollars every month in repairs, it's uncomfortable, it's hard to drive, just being in it raises your blood pressure. 

-You spend thousands on tuition, end up hating the coursework in the second year, and just wish you could drop out. 

Did Allah (SWT) reject your istikhara? You asked for a good outcome and this is NOT GOOD AT ALL. What's going on? 

Istikhara works. It always works. Your outcome IS always the best outcome, it may just not look like it because you have limited knowledge. By getting frustrated with the outcome of istikhara, you are essentially saying that you don't believe Allah (SWT) chose the best for you. Remember, we only have a tiny fraction of knowledge, whereas Allah (SWT) has all of it. 

Think bigger:

- Maybe that bad job WAS the best of the available options and you just need to stick it out until MORE options become available at which point Allah (SWT) will turn you away from it and ordain something better for you.

- Maybe without the car you would have been late to work and been fired.

- Maybe the experience with this car will shape future purchases resulting in more money saved in the long run. 

- Maybe sitting in this awful vehicle for 30 minutes each day is building your tolerance for discomfort prepping you for another situation you'll face in 2 years. 

- Maybe you needed to attend these courses to interact with certain people who will expand your mind in certain ways that will improve your faith or ability to do your job in 10 years. 

- Maybe you need to be at this job because Allah (SWT) thinks you could benefit from practicing some patience, or dealing with difficult personalities. Then in 4 years you'll be able to use this experience in another situation resulting in a good outcome.

- Maybe even just the stories from the place will earn you good friends and respect. 

These are all 'maybe's of course, because no one can know for sure until the time comes, and even then we can only guess at the connections. 

Or maybe you don't want to consider the million possible reasons why you had a bad outcome. That's fine, it doesn't change the fact that you still have limited knowledge. If you're looking for a quick and easy explanation, every bad situation has a few things in common: 

- they teach patience (a key aspect of the muslim personality)

- "With every difficulty there is relief." Quran 94:5

- there's a good story to be told later. 

Bearing a bad situation with patience is one of the best things a Muslim can do. 

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 3090; (classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah, no. 2599. )

"It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Great reward comes with great trials. When Allah loves a people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it attains His pleasure, whereas whoever shows discontent with it incurs His wrath.”"

This goes hand in hand with the second commonality:

Narrated and classed as hasan by at-Tirmidhi (2396); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah, no. 146 

The two reasons are mentioned together in the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), according to which the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Nothing befalls a believer, a (prick of a) thorn or more than that, but Allaah will raise him one degree in status thereby, or erase a bad deed.”

Finally, the best stories are the ones where you overcame a difficulty. Maybe your story will inspire someone else, gain you a friend, get you a job, who knows. Allah (SWT) knows, but we do not. 

It's arrogant to assume that we are so special that doing istikhara will always result in the outcome that we like and we'll never experience any hardship if we do istikhara. Istikhara doesn't ask for the outcome that makes us content immediately. It asks for the outcomes that are better for our deen and dunya as a whole and across our entire life and into our afterlife. And even if it did ask for an immediate, positive outcome, Allah (SWT) always answers, but sometimes the answer is "No", and the dua gets banked. As always, Allah (SWT) knows best.