Zakat Al-Fitr

Who must pay it:


Okay, so, Islamic fundamental fail on me! Apparently there's a Zakat due at the end of Ramadan called "Zakat Al-Fitr" and it is obligatory on every Muslim, young and old, male and female, free and slave who possesses one sa' (about 3kg) (about 5.5 pounds according to islamicity.com) of dates or barely which is not needed as a basic food for himself or his family for the duration of one day and night. It's  purpose is to purify one who fasts from any indecent act or speech and to help the poor and needy. Every free muslim must pay it for himself, his wife, children and servants. (All from Fiqh us-Sunnah).

This kind of explains the "Zakat Al-Fitr" box that was always outside the soccer field (yes, we do Eid Prayer in an indoor soccer field. We did it in a tennis court once, but that was a bit of a disaster.) on eid prayer.

When to pay it:

So, this little tax is accepted as Zakah for anyone paying it before the Eid Salah (again, that explains the box) and as Sadaqah for anyone paying it after, but it must be paid. If you don't pay it, the scholars agree that it becomes a debt that you must pay, and in fact they go on to say delaying it is similar to delaying a prayer. DON'T DO IT, IT WON'T END WELL. Fortunately, it is permissible to pay this Zakat a day or two before eid, but the scholars differ as to earlier payments:

Abu Hanifah: you can pay before Ramadan
Ash-Shaf'i: at the beginning of Ramadan
Malik and Ahmad: Only a day or two before Eid.

How much to pay:


The amount to be paid is one sa' (about 3 kg, or 5.5 pounds) of dates, barely, rice, wheat or things like this. Fortunately, the Hanafi school allows the donation of money instead. How much money? Well, I imagine it would be enough to pay for the required amount of foodstuffs previously mentioned, but I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to add a dollar or two just to be safe. ;)

Fate and Predestiny

Probably the single most confusing concept in Islam is that of fate and predestiny. Muslims frequently hear and read that our lives, and everything, even where we end up after we die is predetermined. This just baffles the heck out of most of us though because if that's the case, then where is justice? Why bother doing good deeds at all? Why bother doing anything?

When I was in the middle east I was talking with a cousin of mine and he was telling me a story about how one of his professors used the concept of dimensions to explain the concept of God. Expanding upon this in my head, I think I finally managed to explain all this fate and predestiny stuff, so here goes. 

DISCLAIMER

THE FOLLOWING IS WHAT I USE TO CONTENT MYSELF. IT MAY BE COMPLETELY WRONG AND IS A RESULT OF MY OWN THINKING.

The religious texts say that everything we do, etc is fate. The way I see it is that, yes it is fate, but it does not control us, we are not forced to follow it but we do. If you imagine our lives as a film, God can scroll through the film. He knows every part, the beginning, middle and end. It's part of His "All-Knowing"-ness. So when it's said "What is written", it's like God went through our film and simply wrote out everything we are going to do. The key point is that the film came first (so to speak): we decide our actions and decisions but God already knows them. It's like a friend who's already watched a movie telling you what's going to happen. He knows how the movie ends, and what happens to the main character, but that doesn't actually affect the main characters actions. 

Now, to explain predestiny. As I imagine it, we are on game boards, or at the centre of a maze constantly moving towards the edge. The walls of the maze are, for lack of a better word, opportunities and events. These choices and opportunities are built into the game board or maze and are predetermined: they are "factory made". It is our free will that allows us to choose which opportunities we take and how we respond to events. Some people's mazes will be simple, with few difficult events and opportunities, while other's will be harder, but everyone has the ability to choose their own paths. At the end of the maze, the edges of the board is death and beyond that half the board is surrounded by Paradise, while the other by Hell. 

So, to summarize my understanding/explanation. We have free will, but a God-made maze. We have to make the right choices at the events and opportunities God built into our mazes. God, being Master of Time and All-Knowing, knows what path and decisions and actions we will take and make, and has written it down, but this does not control us, it's simply an outline of what we are going to do anyway. 

I hope that explanation helps and isn't totally blasphemous.

 

100 Premarital Questions

I was in the middle east for the past few weeks, and I was thinking about how people over there meet people and get married. Where I'm from, a girls get heard about by mothers through relatives and friends and they report to their sons who then ask to meet the girl. Then the man and his mum or dad or whoever sit down with the girl and her mum or dad or whoever and discuss....well....usually nothing of any real importance to the marriage actually. From what I've heard anyway....I've...never.....been asked for ToT.    :P

ANYWAY. I'm the kind of guy who likes order and structure and I take love and marriage VERY seriously. We do not mess around here people. As luck would have it, I was talking with my sister and she mentioned a website that has 50 questions to ask before marriage so I figured I'd look it up. Apparently there's many websites like this, but quite interestingly, I chanced upon a list of about 100 questions to ask, not only that, the list was taken from a book written by a family friend!

The book is called "Bent Rib: A Journey through women's issues in Islam" by Huda al-Khattab and is quite good actually. 

The list is below, now I encourage you to read over and answer as many questions as you can and be honest, you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person so they might as well know the real you. Also, come back to it while your unmarried and update it to reflect recent changes in personality, etc.! Heck, you could take it with you when you meet your girl/guy! They should be impressed that you're taking this very seriously!

1.    What is your concept of marriage?

2.    Have you been married before?

3.    Are you married now?

4.    What are you expectations of marriage?

5.    What are your goals in life? (long and short term)

6.    Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.

7.    Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.

8.    Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?

9.    What is the role of religion in your life now?

10.      Are you a spiritual person?

11.      What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?

12.      What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?

13.      What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims

14.      community in your area?

15.      Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?

16.      What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?

17.      What is the role of the husband?

18.      What is the role of the wife?

19.      Do you want to practice polygamy?

20.      What is your relationship with your family?

21.      What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?

22.      What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?

23.      Is there anyone in your family living with you now?

24.      Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?

25.      If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?

26.      Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)

27.      How did you get to know them?

28.      Why are they your friends?

29.      What do you like most about them?

30.      What will your relationship with them after marriage be?

31.      Do you have friends of the opposite sex?

32.      What is the level of your relationship with them now?

33.      What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?

34.      What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?

35.      What are the things that you do in your free time?

36.      Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?

37.      What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?

38.      What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)

39.      Do you travel?

40.      How do you spend your vacations?

41.      How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?

42.      Do you read?

43.      What do you read?

44.      After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?

45.      After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?

46.      How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?

47.      How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?

48.      Do you like to write your feelings?

49.      If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?

50.      If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?

51.      How much time passes before you can forgive someone?

52.      How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?

53.      Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?

54.      Do your friends use foul language?

55.      Does your family use foul language?

56.      How do you express anger?

57.      How do you expect your spouse to express anger?

58.      What do you do when you are angry?

59.      When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?

60.      When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise,how should the conflict get resolved?

61.      Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.

62.      What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?

63.      Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?

64.      Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?

65.      Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?

66.      What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?

67.      How do you support your own health and nutrition?

68.      What is you definition of wealth?

69.      How do you spend money?

70.      How do you save money?

71.      How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?

72.      Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?

73.      Do you use credit cards?

74.      Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?

75.      What are you expecting from your spouse financially?

76.      What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?

77.      Do you support the idea of a working wife?

78.      If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?

79.      Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?

80.      Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?

81.      Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?

82.      Do you want to have children? If not, how come?

83.      To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?

84.      Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage?

85.      If not, when?

86.      Do you believe in abortion?

87.      Do you have children now?

88.      What is your relationship with your children now?

89.      What is your relationship with their other parent?

90.      What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?

91.      What is the best method(s) of raising children?

92.      What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?

93.      How were you raised?

94.      How were you disciplined?

95.      Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?

96.      Do you believe in public school for your children?

97.      Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?

98.      Do you believe in home schooling for your children?

99.      What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?

100.  Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?

101.  What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?

102.      If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?