Sunday, March 1, 2009

Men's Expected Behavior and Qualities

I found this great website with text from published books on ideal muslims and muslimahs, so I thought I'd share some of the good Doctor's thoughts.

The following are taken from

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/HisSelf.htm#1-%20His%20Body

which took from:

The Ideal Muslim: The True Islâmic Personality of the Muslim as Defined in the Qur’ân and Sunnah”)

By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi


These are just the main bullet points, check the website out, it's actually really good!
1- His Body
Moderation in food and drink
[. . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.] (Qur’an 7:31)
Similarly, the Prophet (S.A.W.) also advised moderation in food and drink:
“There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his own stomach, but if he must fill it, then let him allow one third for food, one third for drink, and one third for air.” 
He exercises regularly
His body and clothes are clean

“The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: ‘It is the duty of every Muslim to take a bath (at least) once every seven days, and to wash his head and body.’” (Bukhari and Muslim)
The true Muslim keeps his clothes and socks clean, checking them from time to time, to be sure that they have no unpleasant smell. He also wears perfume to help keep himself clean.
The smart Muslim takes care of his mouth, for no one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming from it.
‘A’ishah (R.A) narrated that the Prophet (S.A.W.) “never woke from sleeping at any time of day or night without cleaning his teeth with a siwak before performing wudu’.”
The Prophet’s concern for oral hygiene was so great that he said:
“If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden my Ummah, I would have ordered them to use the siwak before every prayer.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

“The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: ‘Whoever has hair, let him look after it properly.’”


Good appearance
The true Muslim takes good care of his clothes, so you will see him presenting a pleasant appearance, without being extravagant. He is pleasant to look at and to meet, and does not annoy people with his careless, dishevelled appearance. He always checks himself before he goes out to meet people, and he makes himself look good, in moderation, for the Prophet (S.A.W.) used to make himself look good in front of his Companions, as well as in front of his family.

2- His Mind
Knowledge is an obligation and an honour for the Muslim
“Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim.” (Bukhari)
[. . . Those truly fear Allah, among His Slaves, who have knowledge . . . ] (Qur’an 35:28)
Continuously seeking knowledge until death
[. . . But say, ‘O my Rabb! Advance me in knowledge.’] (Qur’an 20:114)
What Muslim needs to know
The first thing that the Muslim needs to know is how to read the Qur’an properly (with tajwid) and to understand its meaning. Then he should learn something of the sciences of hadith, the sirah of the Prophet (S.A.W.), and the history of the Sahabah and Tabi‘in, who are prominent figures in Islam. He should acquire as much knowledge of fiqh as he needs to ensure that his worship and daily dealings are correct, and he should ensure that he has a sound grasp of the basic principles of his religion.
The Muslim should be proficient in his speciality
The Muslim exposes himself to information about other fields
The Muslim is proficient in a foreign language

3 - The Muslim’s Soul
While he is taking care of his physical and mental needs, the true Muslim does not forget that he is not comprised only of a body and mind, but he also has a passionate, yearning soul whose higher longings motivate him to lift himself up by devoting himself to worship, seeking the blessings of Allah (S.W.T.) and fearing His punishment.
The Muslim polishes his soul through worship
The Muslim is obliged to take care of his soul, so he starts to polish it and refine it through constant worship and awareness of Allah (S.W.T.) , night and day. He is alert to the devious tricks and deceptive whispers of the Shaytan and if, in some moment of human weakness, evil thoughts come to him from that source, he remembers Allah (S.W.T.) and finds his way back to the Straight and Narrow.
He frequently repeats du‘as and supplications described in Ahadith

Now regarding his relationship with his wife:

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/hiswife.htm

He fully understands his role as a protector and maintainer (qawwam) of his wifeHe helps her to make up for her failings and weaknessesHe understands his wife and respects her feelings

These are some clippings from different parts of the page I thought were good:

A wife may become angry for any reason, and keep away from her husband, making him feel her anger. In this case, the Muslim husband responds with tolerance and kindness, based on his deep insight into the psychology and nature of woman, as the Prophet (S.A.W.) used to treat his wives whenever they were angry with him and kept away from him all day until night fell.

The true Muslim does not overreact and become angry for trivial reasons, as many ignorant husbands do, creating uproar if their wives offer them food that is not to their liking, or their meal is a little late, or any of the other reasons which often cause an inordinate amount of anger, arguments and trouble between the spouses. The Muslim who is truly following the example of the Prophet (S.A.W.) always remembers aspects of his character that remind him to be generous, kind and tolerant. So he remembers that one of the characteristics of the Prophet (S.A.W.) is that “he never criticized food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not like it, he simply left it.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

He should also satisfy her femininity by making himself attractive to her within Islamic limits and should give her a share of his time and interest. He should not let his study, work, hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all of his time and keep him from her. Islam guarantees woman’s right to enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all his time in worship, which is the best and most honorable of deeds, lest the balance and equilibrium upon which this religion is based be disturbed.

He should lend a hand if he sees that his wife needs his help, and he should say some words of comfort if he feels that she is complaining of tiredness, weariness or boredom.

He should make her feel that she is living with a strong, generous, tolerant husband who will protect her and care for her, who cares about her and will meet all her legitimate needs as long as he is able.

When the Muslim husband truly follows this guidance of the Prophet (S.A.W), which is based on a deep understanding of the psychology and nature of women, he will tolerate his wife’s mistakes and turn a blind eye to her faults, recognizing that these are part of her nature. Thus the marital home will be safe and calm, free from shouting or arguments.
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And that's what I have so far.

Check out

http://www.wefound.org/idealmuslims.htm

it's a great site with lots of good info!

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