Prayer Courtesy

Do Not Reciprocate

Another great hadith and commentary

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Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “If somebody reproaches you and makes you feel ashamed of any of your defects, do not make him feel ashamed of any of his defects.” [Abu Daud]

Usually, when somebody points out one of our shortcomings, we immediately become defensive and start finding faults with them. But the advice of our beloved Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam), is that we should listen quietly and evaluate what we are being told. If there is something we can improve about ourselves, it is only to our own advantage to do so. If the criticism is unjustified, then we are rewarded for our patience and good behaviour in not retaliating. The angels will take care of defending our honour. Starting a counter attack opens the door for Shaytaan to come in and take over.

Once Hazrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (radi Allahu anhu) was sitting with the Prophet (sal allahu alaihi wa sallam) when a man came and started to abuse Hazrat Abu Bakr. Hazrat Abu Bakr remained silent. Finally, he started to speak in his defence. At this point the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) got up and left. Hazrat Abu Bakr immediately went after him and inquired if he had done something wrong. Rasul Allah replied that as long as he had been silent, angels had been speaking on his behalf, but when he started to respond, the devil came and sat down next to him. As the Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) could not remain seated where the devil was sitting, he left.

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On Arguing

I have an Iphone application that gives me a new hadith with commentary every day. I really liked today's one so I decided to share it.

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Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whoever does not argue when he is in the wrong will have a home built for him on the edge of Paradise. Whoever avoids it when he in the right will have a home built for him in the middle of Paradise. And whoever improves his own character, a home will be built for him in the highest part of Paradise.” [Tirmidhi]

Arguing with people is strongly discouraged in Islam. We are to state our point of view and then leave it at that. Nor are we to involve ourselves in matters that do not affect a person’s deen. Note that a person is to shun argument whether he is in the right or whether his stand is wrong. Both get houses built for them in Paradise. But since the person who knows that he is right finds it more difficult to leave the argument and let things be, he/she is promised a greater reward.

Arguing with people rarely gets anyone to change their minds. It usually only produces defensiveness and creates ill feelings between people. The issue becomes a matter of one’s ego and makes it more difficult for a person to change their stance. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) loves to have Muslims live harmoniously with each other. Try this hadith out in practice, and you will see that your relations improve with people and that you have greater peace of mind.
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The Trouble with Judges

Narrated Buraydah ibn al-Hasib: The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: judges are of three types, one of whom will go to Paradise and two to Hell. The one who will go to Paradise is a man who knows what is right and gives judgment accordingly; but a man who knows what is right and acts tyrannically in his judgment will go to Hell; and a man who gives judgment for people when he is ignorant will go to Hell. (Book #24, Hadith #3566 (Sunan Abudawud))


So this is why you don't see too many Muslim lawyers, and why we're going to see a shortage of learned people (i.e, actual scholars); we're terrified of being even the tiniest bit ignorant in our judging.

What Obedience to Parents Actually Entails

An excerpt from the book "The Major Sins" by Muhammad bin 'Uthman Adh-Dhahabi:

K'ab al-Ahbar was asked about the meaning of "disrespect to parents," to which he replied: " If the father or mother assigns him a task, he does not do it; if they order him to do something, he does not obey them; if they ask him for something, he does not give it to them; and if they entrust him with a thing, he cheats them in it."

Grave Stories

This is some scary stuff!!! :(


Abdul Malik bin Marwan reported that a young man came to him, weeping bitterly, and said: "leader of the believers, I have committed a grave sin. Is there repentance for me?" He replied: "Whatever your sin may be, repent to Allah Most High, for He accepts repentance from His servants and forgives them their evil deeds." The man said: "I used to open up graves, and I have seen strange things." Abdul malik said: "What have you seen?"

***the shortened version***
Every time the man opens a grave, he sees something strange and wants to leave, but a voice calls to him from the grave asking him if he wants to know why this odd thing is occuring.


Grave 1: He found the face of a dead person turned away from the Qiblah.
Why: The person used to neglect the prayer

Grave 2: The occupant had turned into a pig, with heavy chains on it's neck.
Why: The person used to drink while they were alive, and died without repentance.

Grave 3: The occupant was tied to the ground with cords of fire and their tongue was hanging out.
Why: The person did not protect their clothes from urine and used to carry tales among the people.

Grave 4: The occupant was burning in fire.
Why: They abandoned the prayer

Grave 5: The grave was wide, to the limit of the digger's sight. It was also full of bright light and the body was sleeping comfortably on a bed, clothed in fine garments and light was spreading from him.
Why: He was a young man that was observant of his duties toward Allah (SWT) and diligent in worship.

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Another Story

Muhammad bin Yusuf Faryabi said: "Once I went to visit Abi Sinan together with some friends. We went into his house and sat with him for a while. Then he stood up and said: 'Let us go and pay our condolences to our neighbour whose brother has passed away.' So we stood up and went with him to the neighbour's house, and we found him weeping bitterly and lamenting or his broher. We offered words of solace and condolence , but he would accept none of them. We said: 'Do you not know that everyone must die?' He said: 'Yes, but I am weeping for the punishment which my brother is going through morning and evening." We said to him: 'Has Allah informed you about the Unseen?' He said: 'No. But when I buried him and smoothed the earth on his grave and the people left, I sat by his grave. A voice came from his grave, (saying): "Oh, the punishment which is upon me! I used to pray and I used to fast!" (At that,) I became very agitated and opened the grave to see what was happening. I saw that the grave was full of fire, and there was a ring of fire around his neck. Full of pity for him, I stretched out my hand to take off this ring, but my fingers and hand got burned.' Then he showed us his hand, which was burned. He continued: 'I then covered his gave with earth and left. So how can I help weeping and mourning for him?' We asked: 'What was it your brother did (wrong) in this world?' He replied: 'He never paid any Zakat from his property.' (Thereupon) we recited: 'Let not those who are miserly with what Allah (SWT) has given them of His (SWT) bounty suppose that it is better for them. On the contrary, it is worse for them. The things with which they were so miserly will be bound around their necks on the Day of Resurrection' (Ale 'Imran 3:180) and we said to him: ' Your brother's punishment has been hastened on before the Day of Resurrection.'

Men's Expected Behavior and Qualities

I found this great website with text from published books on ideal muslims and muslimahs, so I thought I'd share some of the good Doctor's thoughts.

The following are taken from

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/HisSelf.htm#1-%20His%20Body

which took from:

The Ideal Muslim: The True Islâmic Personality of the Muslim as Defined in the Qur’ân and Sunnah”)

By Dr. Muhammad ‘Ali Al-Hashimi

These are just the main bullet points, check the website out, it's actually really good!

1- His Body

Moderation in food and drink

[. . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.] (Qur’an 7:31)

Similarly, the Prophet (S.A.W.) also advised moderation in food and drink:

“There is no worse vessel for the son of Adam to fill than his own stomach, but if he must fill it, then let him allow one third for food, one third for drink, and one third for air.” 

He exercises regularly

His body and clothes are clean

“The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: ‘It is the duty of every Muslim to take a bath (at least) once every seven days, and to wash his head and body.’” (Bukhari and Muslim)

The true Muslim keeps his clothes and socks clean, checking them from time to time, to be sure that they have no unpleasant smell. He also wears perfume to help keep himself clean.

The smart Muslim takes care of his mouth, for no one should ever have to smell an unpleasant odour coming from it.

‘A’ishah (R.A) narrated that the Prophet (S.A.W.) “never woke from sleeping at any time of day or night without cleaning his teeth with a siwak before performing wudu’.”

The Prophet’s concern for oral hygiene was so great that he said:

“If it were not for the fact that I did not want to overburden my Ummah, I would have ordered them to use the siwak before every prayer.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

“The Prophet (S.A.W.) said: ‘Whoever has hair, let him look after it properly.’”

Good appearance

The true Muslim takes good care of his clothes, so you will see him presenting a pleasant appearance, without being extravagant. He is pleasant to look at and to meet, and does not annoy people with his careless, dishevelled appearance. He always checks himself before he goes out to meet people, and he makes himself look good, in moderation, for the Prophet (S.A.W.) used to make himself look good in front of his Companions, as well as in front of his family.

2- His Mind

Knowledge is an obligation and an honour for the Muslim

“Seeking knowledge is a duty on every Muslim.” (Bukhari)

[. . . Those truly fear Allah, among His Slaves, who have knowledge . . . ] (Qur’an 35:28)

Continuously seeking knowledge until death

[. . . But say, ‘O my Rabb! Advance me in knowledge.’] (Qur’an 20:114)

What Muslim needs to know

The first thing that the Muslim needs to know is how to read the Qur’an properly (with tajwid) and to understand its meaning. Then he should learn something of the sciences of hadith, the sirah of the Prophet (S.A.W.), and the history of the Sahabah and Tabi‘in, who are prominent figures in Islam. He should acquire as much knowledge of fiqh as he needs to ensure that his worship and daily dealings are correct, and he should ensure that he has a sound grasp of the basic principles of his religion.

The Muslim should be proficient in his speciality

The Muslim exposes himself to information about other fields

The Muslim is proficient in a foreign language

3 - The Muslim’s Soul

While he is taking care of his physical and mental needs, the true Muslim does not forget that he is not comprised only of a body and mind, but he also has a passionate, yearning soul whose higher longings motivate him to lift himself up by devoting himself to worship, seeking the blessings of Allah (S.W.T.) and fearing His punishment.

The Muslim polishes his soul through worship

The Muslim is obliged to take care of his soul, so he starts to polish it and refine it through constant worship and awareness of Allah (S.W.T.) , night and day. He is alert to the devious tricks and deceptive whispers of the Shaytan and if, in some moment of human weakness, evil thoughts come to him from that source, he remembers Allah (S.W.T.) and finds his way back to the Straight and Narrow.

He frequently repeats du‘as and supplications described in Ahadith

Now regarding his relationship with his wife:

http://www.wefound.org/texts/Ideal_Muslims_files/hiswife.htm

He fully understands his role as a protector and maintainer (qawwam) of his wifeHe helps her to make up for her failings and weaknessesHe understands his wife and respects her feelings

These are some clippings from different parts of the page I thought were good:

A wife may become angry for any reason, and keep away from her husband, making him feel her anger. In this case, the Muslim husband responds with tolerance and kindness, based on his deep insight into the psychology and nature of woman, as the Prophet (S.A.W.) used to treat his wives whenever they were angry with him and kept away from him all day until night fell.

The true Muslim does not overreact and become angry for trivial reasons, as many ignorant husbands do, creating uproar if their wives offer them food that is not to their liking, or their meal is a little late, or any of the other reasons which often cause an inordinate amount of anger, arguments and trouble between the spouses. The Muslim who is truly following the example of the Prophet (S.A.W.) always remembers aspects of his character that remind him to be generous, kind and tolerant. So he remembers that one of the characteristics of the Prophet (S.A.W.) is that “he never criticized food. If he liked it, he ate it, and if he did not like it, he simply left it.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

He should also satisfy her femininity by making himself attractive to her within Islamic limits and should give her a share of his time and interest. He should not let his study, work, hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all of his time and keep him from her. Islam guarantees woman’s right to enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all his time in worship, which is the best and most honorable of deeds, lest the balance and equilibrium upon which this religion is based be disturbed.

He should lend a hand if he sees that his wife needs his help, and he should say some words of comfort if he feels that she is complaining of tiredness, weariness or boredom.

He should make her feel that she is living with a strong, generous, tolerant husband who will protect her and care for her, who cares about her and will meet all her legitimate needs as long as he is able.

When the Muslim husband truly follows this guidance of the Prophet (S.A.W), which is based on a deep understanding of the psychology and nature of women, he will tolerate his wife’s mistakes and turn a blind eye to her faults, recognizing that these are part of her nature. Thus the marital home will be safe and calm, free from shouting or arguments.
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And that's what I have so far.

Check out

http://www.wefound.org/idealmuslims.htm

it's a great site with lots of good info!